Say Goodbye to “Triggers” that Leave You Feeling Angry, Sad or Anxious — “Glimmers” Can Swing You in the Other Direction
Deb Dana, an author and licensed clinical social worker who specializes in complex trauma, coined the term “glimmers” in her 2018 book “The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy” to describe how small experiences can help shift our nervous system’s response from defense to calm.
What is a Glimmer?
“Glimmers are these tiny moments of OK-ness, joy, excitement, ease, calm, any of those flavors that give you the feeling that you are safe enough in the world to feel present and OK,” Dana said.
What do You Do When You Notice a Glimmer?
For beginners, Dana says that reflecting at the end of the day can help you recognize cues that moments were or could have been glimmers.
“Once you know the cues, when you feel something come alive, stop in that moment and then appreciate it. Appreciation is a ten to twenty-second experience,” Dana explained.
Glimmer: the Anti-Trigger
“We deal all the time with triggers, the things that disregulate people,” Dana said. “We tend to forget that we also need to actively experience moments of OK-ness in order to fully live a life of well-being.”
Teach Your Brain to Feel Better
Dana chose the word glimmer as it suggests something attention-getting that is not overwhelming.
“The interesting thing about glimmers is they’re all around us; there is a glimmer happening somewhere all the time, and yet we don’t know to look for them, and so we don’t notice them, and they pass us by,” she said.
See, Stop, Appreciate, Remember, Share
In the beginning, glimmers are a few seconds of feeling something different. As you find them more and more, you build the practice; you see, stop, and appreciate.
Once you find a glimmer and you feel it come alive in your body, your brain makes a story about it. It marks it, it names it. Once that happens, you are organically primed to look for more. So it becomes an easy practice.
Glimmers: Sharing is Caring
For people whose everyday experiences include cues of danger, distress, or chaos, the feeling of being regulated and safe can register as unfamiliar, sending a danger cue to the nervous system.
“In the beginning, glimmers are a few seconds of feeling something different. As you find them more and more, you build the practice; you see, stop, and appreciate,” Dana said.
“The nervous system loves to be in connection with other nervous systems. We humans are social beings. We want to be with others. And so after we see, stop, appreciate, and remember, the next step is share.”
Conclusion
For Deb Dana, every moment is an opportunity to shape the nervous system and remain open to the positive potential of glimmers. As we continue to have, share, and remember glimmers, we know they’re shaping our systems toward more regulation, safety, and connection. As I am a more regulated human, I am then passing that out into the world. I’m walking through the world, giving other people cues of safety and welcome. I imagine that every time we begin to reshape our system and then pass that on to others, we’re beginning to shape the world in small but powerful ways.
FAQs
Q: How do I find glimmers?
A: Look for tiny moments of OK-ness, joy, excitement, ease, or calm. They can be as simple as a warm feeling or a slight smile.
Q: What do I do when I notice a glimmer?
A: Stop in that moment and appreciate it for a few seconds. This can help regulate your nervous system and build the practice of looking for more glimmers.
Q: Can I share my glimmers with others?
A: Yes, sharing is a crucial component of the power of glimmers. You can share your glimmers with others, record them, draw them, photograph them, or write about them.
Q: How do I build a glimmer practice?
A: Start by reflecting on your day and identifying the cues that moments were or could have been glimmers. Build the practice by seeing, stopping, and appreciating your glimmers.
