Parenting Myths Debunked: Separating Fact from Fiction
What’s the Deal With "Hurried Child Syndrome"?
What parent hasn’t said "hurry up!" to a child at some point, whether it’s hustling them to school or waiting for them to put on their shoes? On top of all their other stresses, parents have been hearing about something called "hurried child syndrome."
The Term’s Origins and Myths
Turns out, parents don’t have to worry: those little lapses in patience aren’t going to cause lasting trauma. As it turns out, "hurried child syndrome" is about something else entirely. Dr. Emily Oster, an economist who meticulously analyzes parenting data, traces the term back to David Elkind’s book, “The Hurried Child,” which warns of over-burdening children and making them grow up too fast.
Setting the Record Straight
Though Elkind’s book is from 1981, the importance of moving from structure to free play is still being stressed by authors like Jonathan Haidt, author of "The Anxious Generation." Today, 45 years later, the problem has only intensified. We asked Oster to tell us one more time for the anxious parents in the back: Does rushing your child give them anxiety?
"No," Oster says definitively. "No. There’s no evidence for that."
How did this mixup happen?
Parents are looking for guidance, for concrete ways to help them raise their kids. In the process, the nuances of hurried child syndrome disappeared and the theory got oversimplified — sometimes hilariously so — into "Don’t rush your kids or you’ll turn them into anxious adults."
From One-Size-Fits-All to Customized Parenting
Though it can be difficult, Oster cautions parents from adopting one-size-fits-all parenting advice. In fact, “the best way” to support our kids “is probably to let go of the idea that there is ‘the best way,’” Oster says.
Conclusion
Parenting is a complex and multifaceted task, and it’s natural to have doubts and worries. But by separating fact from fiction and focusing on what works best for your unique family and child, you can take the pressure off and enjoy the journey.
FAQs
Q: Is rushing my child going to give them anxiety?
A: No, there’s no evidence to support this claim.
Q: What is "hurried child syndrome"?
A: It’s the tendency of parents to crowd their kids’ schedules with too many activities, rather than allowing for free play and natural development.
Q: How can I avoid overscheduling my child?
A: Ask your child what activities they’re interested in, and say no to activities that exhaust you and your child.
Q: What’s the key to getting out of parental guilt and anxiety?
A: Be curious, and be willing to try again. Remember, you’re imperfect, and your child is resilient.
