<\/span> <\/p>\n Each week, millions tune in to the podcast \u201cWe Can Do Hard Things,\u201d on which writer Glennon Doyle, her wife, Olympic gold medalist soccer player Abby Wambach, and her sister, former lawyer Amanda Doyle, interview famous guests. The podcast\u2019s title was inspired by a sign with that phrase that hung in her colleague Josie\u2019s second-grade classroom just around the corner from her own at the time. (Doyle was a young teacher trying to get sober.)<\/p>\n Shelf Help is a wellness column where we interview researchers, thinkers and writers about their latest books \u2014 all with the aim of learning how to live a more complete life.<\/p>\n But two years ago, the hard things were starting to pile up again: Glennon was diagnosed with anorexia, Amanda was diagnosed with breast cancer and Abby\u2019s brother died suddenly. To help Abby through her grief, Glennon left a Samuel Beckett quote on her pillow. Abby returned the favor with a quote about body image. The pattern continued, and the three hosts began collecting nuggets of wisdom from their podcast and other sources to help one another. Soon enough, they\u2019d built up a gigantic digital file full of lessons on grief, body image, health and other topics. That file inspired their book, \u201cWe Can Do Hard Things: Answers to Life\u2019s 20 Questions\u201d (Penguin Random House), a collection of lessons on every life category, answering questions like Chapter 1\u2019s \u201cWhy am I like this?\u201d to Chapter 20\u2019s \u201cWhat is the point?\u201d<\/p>\n For them, the book is a manual for being alive. \u201cWhen you travel through a new country, you need a guidebook,\u201d Doyle says. \u201cWhen you travel through love, heartbreak, joy, parenting, friendship, uncertainty, aging, grief, new beginnings \u2014 life \u2014 you need a guidebook too.\u201d As such, the book offers advice and wisdom from 118 \u201cwayfinders,\u201d many of whom were Doyle\u2019s prior podcast guests.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n The Times spoke with Doyle about how she stays hopeful in dark times and aims to raise compassionate, resilient children.<\/p>\n This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.<\/p>\n Glennon Doyle<\/p>\n (Photo by Alex Hedison)<\/p>\n In the book, Elizabeth Gilbert discusses social media\u2019s negative impact on women. You recently said that quitting social media this past year has been as impactful on your nervous system as quitting drinking. What is your relationship with it like now, especially in terms of marketing your book?<\/p>\n Social media made me feel terrible: [When I was using it,] I felt less human and more angry, and I started to lose my ability to see people as people rather than ideologies. A day after deleting it in the fall, I texted my team to give me the passwords again (which they didn\u2019t). I was reminded of when I used to hide bottles of booze from myself above the refrigerator; the next day, [I would] find myself making ladders out of chairs and pillows to get it. Now that I\u2019m off social media, I\u2019m starting to feel braver about my art, because I no longer worry about how people will respond to what I put into the world.<\/p>\n One of your book\u2019s chapters is largely inspired by the wisdom you\u2019ve acquired throughout your journey with anorexia. What\u2019s it like to be so public about your eating disorder in a culture that stigmatizes mental illness?<\/p>\n I do OK if I am not hiding anything. Recently, I wrote in my newsletter about how when my eating issues pop up again, I worry that my whole family is thinking, \u201cAre you freaking kidding? Why aren\u2019t you over this yet?\u201d A stranger wrote back saying, \u201cHumpback whales are born with one song they sing from the time they\u2019re born till the time they die, and that\u2019s how they locate their family. You\u2019re just a humpback whale.\u201d That gave me such comfort.<\/p>\n The other night at an awards show, a woman said to me, \u201cYou look amazing! What is your secret?\u201d I often find people tell me I look my best when I\u2019m doing my worst. So I said, \u201cMy secret is that I have anorexia. I have a severe mental disorder. This isn\u2019t healthy, and I\u2019m trying to beat this.\u201d I\u2019m trying to find a way to walk through the public part of it, but telling the truth always helps a little bit.<\/p>\n At one point, the book suggests that our anger can signal to us when things are wrong in our society. Generally, do you stay connected with people whose political beliefs are opposite to yours?<\/p>\n I agree with James Baldwin: \u201cWe can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.\u201d If you think it\u2019s OK for a child to be dragged out of their home, put in a detention center and put in a court with no representation or explanation, I\u2019m not interested in building bridges with you.<\/p>\n That said, in a way, I feel less divided now. Human rights have become so threatened that if you\u2019re somebody who wants to protect the most vulnerable people in this country, right now, I don\u2019t give a s\u2014 what else you believe. Let\u2019s just band together and fight. The rise of fascism has always occurred when the left was busy arguing about who they would and would not align with. I\u2019m more open now to aligning with people who agree with me about the basics: Children should be protected, people should be able to love who they love, and people of any class or skin color should have access to money, hope and freedom.<\/p>\n TAKEAWAYS<\/p>\n from Glennon Doyle<\/p>\n What would you say to people who want the experience of being parents but don\u2019t want to bring children up in today\u2019s world?<\/p>\n When I say that I\u2019m glad that I did, I\u2019m really glad. I\u2019m not saying I wish I had known better so that I wouldn\u2019t have. I do feel, especially lately, a deep terror about my children being in this world. I taught them a lot about justice, and now they\u2019re doing brave things out in the world related to justice that are scaring the crap out of me. They\u2019re still young, and it breaks my heart to think about them wondering where the adults are in all of this. Some of the people I know who have the most amazing mothering energy, who mother me the most, are people who don\u2019t have kids. I think that the idea that a parent or mother is something you are only if you give birth to a kid is wrong. There\u2019s a mothering energy that we need more than ever right now, that every single person can unleash in their communities, families and local governments, whether or not they have children.<\/p>\n (Maggie Chiang \/ For The Times)<\/p>\n The last chapter of your book is called \u201cWhat is the point?\u201d What do you say to people who have all the same feelings as you about the state of the world but feel that working toward change is moot?<\/p>\n My favorite story is about a Vietnam protester who used to stand outside the White House every night with one tiny candle. It looked ridiculous to everybody, and after enough time, a reporter came and said, \u201cWhat are you doing? Do you think this one little candle is going to change policy?\u201d And he said, \u201cI don\u2019t stand out here every night to change them. I stand out every night so they don\u2019t change me.\u201d<\/p>\n Our job isn\u2019t to change the world. The reason to show up is not to make other people more human \u2014 it\u2019s so that you don\u2019t become inhuman. You have to do whatever you can each day to ensure you don\u2019t lose your love, joy, humanity or will to live. That sounds dramatic until you study the rise of fascism throughout history, which has always required a slow deadening, numbing and apathy in people. Whatever you can do to stay believing, stay in love, stay in hope and stay in compassion, is your duty.<\/p>\n Glennon Doyle’s approach to life, as reflected in her book and interviews, emphasizes the importance of staying human in the face of adversity. By focusing on personal growth, compassion, and community, individuals can navigate the challenges of the modern world and work towards creating positive change.<\/p>\n Q: What inspired Glennon Doyle to write her book "We Can Do Hard Things"? Introduction to Staying Human Each week, millions tune in to the podcast \u201cWe Can Do Hard Things,\u201d on which writer Glennon Doyle, her wife, Olympic gold medalist soccer player Abby Wambach, and her sister, former lawyer Amanda Doyle, interview famous guests. The podcast\u2019s title was inspired by a sign with that phrase that hung in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":13937,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rank_math_lock_modified_date":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-13936","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-health-wellness"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/ca-times.brightspotcdn.com\/dims4\/default\/2c5dc10\/2147483647\/strip\/true\/crop\/3000x1575+0+213\/resize\/1200x630!\/quality\/75\/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Ffa%2F3c%2Fdd3bfc4b4fcbb7a5408a765b9e51%2Fla-wk-shelf-help-glennon-doyle-lede-lifeshard-v02.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/citystuff.com\/los-angeles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13936"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/citystuff.com\/los-angeles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/citystuff.com\/los-angeles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citystuff.com\/los-angeles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citystuff.com\/los-angeles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13936"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/citystuff.com\/los-angeles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13936\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13938,"href":"https:\/\/citystuff.com\/los-angeles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13936\/revisions\/13938"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citystuff.com\/los-angeles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13937"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/citystuff.com\/los-angeles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13936"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citystuff.com\/los-angeles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13936"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/citystuff.com\/los-angeles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13936"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Staying Hopeful in Dark Times<\/h2>\n
Overcoming Anorexia and Staying Public<\/h2>\n
Connecting with Others Across Divides<\/h2>\n
Takeaways from Glennon Doyle<\/h2>\n
Conclusion<\/h2>\n
FAQs<\/h2>\n
\nA: The book was inspired by a sign in a second-grade classroom and a collection of wisdom gathered from the podcast "We Can Do Hard Things" and other sources.
\nQ: How does Glennon Doyle suggest people stay hopeful in dark times?
\nA: Doyle emphasizes the importance of staying connected with others, finding community, and focusing on personal growth and self-care.
\nQ: What is Glennon Doyle’s approach to social media?
\nA: Doyle has quit social media, finding it to have a negative impact on her mental health and relationships.
\nQ: How does Glennon Doyle suggest people deal with feelings of overwhelm and powerlessness in the face of global issues?
\nA: Doyle suggests focusing on personal actions and community efforts, rather than feeling responsible for changing the world alone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"