Losing a pet can cut deeper than many people realize.
Recognize that feeling awful is normal
For some grieving owners, pet loss can feel worse than a human death. That doesn’t make them monsters. Instead, it reflects the potential depths of human-animal bonds. A pet is often their most important relationship, the being that they see every single day, that maybe sleeps on their bed, that they cuddle with on the couch. There are people who feel more comfortable with animals than with people, so losing those relationships can be really, really difficult.
Offer a sympathetic ear
People who haven’t experienced pet love may struggle to understand what it’s like to lose it. They may think they are being helpful by saying, "It was just an animal," or "They were lucky to have such a loving owner." But pat phrases, no matter how well-meaning, can make grieving owners clam up and feel alone.
Bonds can run deep with any kind of animal
Another tip: Don’t assume that an owner’s grief is commensurate with the size or type of animal they lost, or the length of time they had them. The death of a pet lizard, for example, can be as painful for some people as losing the cutest of fur balls for others. Some people would be like, "Oh, they’re just fish." But they loved these fish, you know?
Guilt often compounds pet loss
Up to 30,000 people contact Blue Cross each year for pet-loss support. Many aren’t simply sad but also are fearful that they may somehow have been responsible for their animal’s death or disappearance. Guilt is a really big part of pet loss. They maybe think, "Oh, if I’d done something differently, maybe they’d have stayed alive a little bit longer," or if they were stolen: "If I didn’t put them in the garden." Or, "What could I have done differently to change the inevitable?"
Can a new pet help?
Possibly. But it’s not a magic bullet. Each animal has its own personality and a new one won’t necessarily fill the void left by another. And if your previous pet was full-grown, you may no longer have the patience for kittens’ litters or puppy-training again. Bottom line: Grieving can’t be truncated. The sadness and memories can be lasting.
Conclusion
Losing a pet can be a difficult and painful experience, but it’s important to remember that it’s normal to feel this way. By recognizing the depth of the bond between humans and animals, offering a sympathetic ear, and avoiding clichés, friends and family can help owners cope with their grief. It’s also important to acknowledge the guilt that often accompanies pet loss and to find ways to deal with it, such as by keeping a memory box or visiting a pet cemetery.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Can a new pet help with grief?
- Possibly, but it’s not a magic bullet.
- How can I help a friend who is grieving the loss of a pet?
- Offer a sympathetic ear, avoid clichés, and ask how they’re feeling.
- How can I deal with guilt after losing a pet?
- Acknowledge the guilt, and find ways to deal with it, such as keeping a memory box or visiting a pet cemetery.
