Moving to a New Home or School Can Stress Kids Out

Introduction to the Problem

Summer can be a time of big transitions for kids. It’s often the season for moving to a new home or preparing for a different school. And that brings worry and stress. Parents and families can help make things feel more manageable. If kids feel supported, they might even look forward to some of the changes and gain confidence, experts say.

Understanding the Stress of Transition

“When routines, familiar places and even knowing where things are in the house are suddenly gone, it forces youth to relearn their daily lives from scratch,” which can be stressful, says Victoria Kress, a professional counselor and president of the American Counseling Association. At the same time, “this can invite exciting opportunities for growth,” she says.

The Importance of Support

Author Nadine Haruni’s book “Freeda the Frog is on the Move” aims to help school-age kids deal with moving. Haruni, who guided her own family through moves and changes, tells the story of a mother frog who helps her little tadpoles adjust as they leave their hometown and settle in a new one. “It’s really important to recognize that transitions take time and that is totally normal. It’s OK to feel nervous and sad and anxious and maybe all of those things all at once, and even adults feel that way sometimes,” says Haruni. “If you listen, you might be surprised. What matters to a child is not always what you might think it is,” she says.

Compounding Factors

Moves can be especially difficult if accompanied by other significant changes, such as a death, divorce or loss of family income. Haruni’s book was inspired by her family’s big, multifaceted transition. She was moving from Manhattan to New Jersey with her then-5-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son, and getting married all in the same week, a big transition for her kids and three teenage stepdaughters. In addition, the kids were starting at a new school the following week. “The kids were very sad and worried at first. Life is about change, and it’s really hard to address that sometimes. Luckily, the kids discovered that they loved having more space and, like the tadpoles in the book, they happily adapted,” she says.

Strategies for Managing Transition Stress

Here are some tips to reduce the stress of a move or other big transition for kids:

Talk it Out

“Communicating and listening can alleviate a lot of anxiety,” Haruni says. “Let kids share their feelings and know that they are being heard, so they know that they matter. That really helps them feel like they have some control.” Explain why a move is necessary, and preview what’s ahead. Discuss the destination ahead of time, especially its good points. Familiarity can help kids feel more confident, the experts say. Even sharing some photos or a map is helpful in easing jitters. “Can they meet a few kids in the new neighborhood ahead of time?” Haruni asks.

Involve Kids in the Move

“Involving children in age-appropriate moving tasks — such as packing their own belongings or helping to choose new room decorations — can give them a sense of control and security during an uncertain time,” says Kress. Kids can help plan meals, organize their space or continue family traditions. “Frame it as an adventure,” says Haruni. “Let them help choose things for their new room if they are moving, but also bring a few items that feel familiar and comforting.”

Maintain Daily Routines

Sticking to some daily routines creates structure when things feel new and scary. “The thing with moves is they disrupt everyone’s life. Too much change at once discombobulates everybody, so keeping meals at the same time and bedtime rituals the same can really help a lot,” says George M. Kapalka, a clinical psychologist and professor at the California School of Professional Psychology. Arrange common areas similarly to how they were before the move, says Kress. Place favorite toys, blankets or pictures where your child expects to find them.

Consider Professional Help

Adapting to change takes time, and patience. Let kids know that’s normal, that they will get through it, and that they are being heard and have some control over things, says Haruni. And know when to seek help. “Some sadness, worry, or adjustment difficulties are normal after a move. But if symptoms persist for more than a few weeks, worsen over time, or disrupt daily life, then counseling is advisable,” says Kress.

Conclusion

Moving to a new home or school can indeed be stressful for kids, but with the right support and strategies, it can also be an opportunity for growth and new experiences. By communicating effectively, involving kids in the moving process, maintaining daily routines, and considering professional help when needed, parents can help their children navigate these transitions with more ease and confidence.

FAQs

• Q: How can I help my child feel less stressed about moving to a new home or school?
  A: Communicate openly with your child, involve them in the moving process, maintain daily routines, and consider seeking professional help if their stress persists.
• Q: What are some ways to help my child adjust to a new school?
  A: Discuss the new school ahead of time, focusing on its positive aspects. You can also arrange for your child to meet some of their new classmates before school starts.
• Q: How long does it typically take for a child to adjust to a new home or school?
  A: The adjustment period can vary significantly from child to child. It’s normal for kids to feel sad, worried, or anxious for a few weeks, but if these feelings persist or worsen, it may be helpful to seek professional advice.
• Q: Can involving my child in the moving process really help reduce their stress?
  A: Yes, involving your child in age-appropriate moving tasks can give them a sense of control and security, which can help alleviate anxiety and stress related to the move.