{"id":29274,"date":"2025-09-29T10:25:00","date_gmt":"2025-09-29T15:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/citystuff.com\/chicago\/2025\/09\/29\/how-to-help-young-kids-with-separation-anxiety-nbc-chicago\/"},"modified":"2025-09-29T10:25:02","modified_gmt":"2025-09-29T15:25:02","slug":"how-to-help-young-kids-with-separation-anxiety-nbc-chicago","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/citystuff.com\/chicago\/2025\/09\/29\/how-to-help-young-kids-with-separation-anxiety-nbc-chicago\/","title":{"rendered":"How to help young kids with separation anxiety \u2013 NBC Chicago"},"content":{"rendered":"

Introduction to Separation Anxiety<\/h2>\n

On her first full day of preschool, Alexander Lane’s 3-year-old daughter stayed in the car for an hour at drop-off because she didn’t want to go inside. On the second day, she entered class in tears.
\nBut by the third day, she eagerly ran into the classroom.
\nStarting preschool or kindergarten is a milestone, but also a source of anxiety for some children, including many who are experiencing their first extended period of time away from a parent or guardian.
\nLane already knew his daughter was nervous about being away from her parents. She had resisted going to a couple of classes several months ago, so Lane decided to give her a break before enrolling her in preschool.
\n"It’s not productive to tell someone, ‘You’ll just enjoy this if you push through and do it.’ Like, that’s not very persuasive," said Lane, of Minneapolis.
\nSeparation anxiety is not uncommon, especially for young children. In fact, experts say that it’s a natural part of growing up.
\n\u201cAs we’re starting a new school year, we’re going into a new classroom, our routine is changing … there’s going to be some of this anxiety and time that you would expect that a child would need to transition,\u201d said Erica Lee, a psychologist at Boston Children\u2019s Hospital.<\/p>\n

Understanding Separation Anxiety<\/h2>\n

But if a child demonstrates symptoms of separation anxiety for prolonged periods of time, it can hinder their daily activities and may need a clinical diagnosis. Here’s some steps to acclimate young kids to school and make drop-off easier.<\/p>\n

In almost two decades of teaching preschool, Kimberly Skukalek, of Pinellas County, Florida, would have a handful of children every year who experienced separation anxiety. Her goal was to show that school was a safe space where they could make new friends.
\nAnd that message wasn’t just for anxious children \u2014 it was for the parents too, she said.
\n\u201cSome parents … especially if it’s their first kiddo, they’re more scared than the kiddo is,\u201d Skukalek said.<\/p>\n

Teaching Kids and Parents to be Brave<\/h2>\n

Parents who feel their children cannot handle a difficult situation can prevent them from building resilience, said Izabela Milaniak, a psychologist at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Giving into a child’s fears, such as letting them avoid school, often worsens separation anxiety because the avoidance breeds more distress, Milaniak said.
\nThat’s why she reinforces with parents the importance of raising brave kids. Having children confront scary situations \u2014 being alone in this case \u2014 shows them they are capable of doing tough tasks, even if it’s uncomfortable.
\n\u201cIt’s giving them opportunities to learn how to self-soothe, to learn how to be alone, which is part of what we all as humans need to learn,\u201d Milaniak said.
\nMilaniak suggests a two-pronged approach for a child already dealing with separation anxiety: Validate their feelings, but stay firm. Treating a child’s anxieties with respect is important, but \u201ccompassionate limit-setting\u201d is essential to building their confidence.
\nWhen Patrick Edmondson\u2019s child, Miles, started preschool in 2023, the 3-year-old would resist getting ready in the morning and become emotional when it came time to separate from his parents. While Edmondson and his wife had empathy for their son’s fears, he said they didn’t want to indulge his anxiety by allowing him to skip school.<\/p>\n

Gradual Exposure and Building Routine<\/h2>\n

Gradually exposing a child to separation can help them become more comfortable with it, Lee said. Parents can start by doing short bursts of separation \u2014 such as going into another room for 5 minutes \u2014 to build their child’s tolerance. As a child gets used to it, parents can increase the length of time within reasonable limits.
\nCreating a brief goodbye ritual can also benefit a child dealing with separation anxiety, Lee said, because it creates a sense of routine without dragging out a parent’s departure.
\nLane, the father from Minneapolis, eased his daughter’s transition into formal preschool by having her attend half-day classes over the summer.
\nThey spend Sunday night talking about what activities she might do in class, as well as packing her lunch and picking out her outfit together, which makes her more comfortable, he said.
\n\u201cThat kind of gets her involved so it’s not just something happening to her,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

When to Seek Help<\/h2>\n

Many of the symptoms of separation anxiety revolve around delaying or preventing separation from a caregiver. That could mean a child throws tantrums at school drop-off, follows their parent around the house or resists sleeping in their own room.
\n\u201cWhen fear of separation is really rooted in a child being scared that something bad will happen to their parents or something bad will happen to themselves if they are apart from their caregivers,\u201d Lee said.
\nWhen separation anxiety persists for several weeks or months, Lee said it may be time to check in with a pediatrician. But it\u2019s also something she said kids can overcome at any age because it is \u201chighly treatable.\u201d<\/p>\n

Conclusion<\/h2>\n

Separation anxiety is a common issue many young children face, especially during significant transitions like starting preschool or kindergarten. By understanding the nature of separation anxiety, teaching both kids and parents to be brave, implementing gradual exposure and building routines, and knowing when to seek help, families can navigate this challenging period. With patience, consistency, and the right strategies, children can learn to manage their separation anxiety and thrive in their new environments.<\/p>\n

FAQs<\/h2>\n