How to Handle Grief During the Holidays
Grief is a universal experience that can be overwhelming, especially during the holiday season. The pressure to be joyful and festive can exacerbate feelings of sadness, guilt, and anger. It’s essential to acknowledge that grief is a natural part of the healing process and that it’s okay to not be okay.
Understanding Grief
Dr. Jesaira Glover-Dulin, a licensed counselor, professional coach, and corporate trainer, emphasizes that grief is a complex and individualized experience. "The grief relationship is a complicated one. While the grieving process is not a cookie-cutter journey, typically the first year around the holidays tends to be extremely hard."
Managing Grief During the Holidays
Dr. Glover-Dulin suggests that people should expect a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, or relief. "Ride the wave" by allowing yourself to feel these emotions, and take deep breaths to manage them. Create a plan of action to support yourself, and trust your instincts, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Supporting Children
Children’s grief often surfaces in waves, and they may appear fine one moment and devastated the next. Dr. Glover-Dulin recommends creative expression, such as painting, drawing, or playing, to help children process their emotions. Encourage open communication, and normalize talking about the deceased loved one.
Additional Tips
- Be honest but age-appropriate when explaining the loss to children.
- Invite questions and let them express their thoughts, even if they’re difficult to answer.
- Create routines and traditions that reflect the absence of the loved one.
- Validate their emotions and let them know it’s okay to cry, laugh, or feel angry.
Supporting Loved Ones
Dr. Glover-Dulin advises observing body language and checking in with family members. If they don’t want to talk about the deceased loved one, respect their space and request. Focus on what feels nourishing and supportive, and prioritize self-care.
Signs of Needing Professional Help
Dr. Glover-Dulin suggests seeking professional help if you’re experiencing:
- Prolonged inability to function daily
- Intense guilt or anger that feels unmanageable
- Withdrawal from social interactions or refusal to engage in meaningful activities
- Persistent numbness or emotional disconnection
- Substance abuse or self-harming behaviors
- Physical symptoms like chronic pain, headaches, or insomnia without clear cause
Conclusion
Grief is a natural part of the healing process, and it’s essential to prioritize self-care and support during the holiday season. By acknowledging your emotions, creating a plan of action, and seeking professional help when needed, you can navigate the grieving process with greater ease.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What are some common reactions to grief during the holidays?
A: Women may feel pressure to hold everything together, while men may feel compelled to "stay strong." Children may experience waves of grief, and their behavior may regress or change in unusual ways.
Q: How can I support a loved one who is grieving?
A: Observe body language, check in with them, and respect their space and requests. Focus on what feels nourishing and supportive, and prioritize self-care.
Q: When is it time to seek professional help?
A: If you’re experiencing prolonged inability to function daily, intense guilt or anger, withdrawal from social interactions, persistent numbness, substance abuse, or physical symptoms without clear cause.
